Are you bae or nah?
Titles definitely matter
Lover, boyfriend, or wife a title helps us to identify our role (what’s expected of us) and position (our level of importance in someone else’s life). Much like the titles of vice president vs. president, and supervisor vs. worker we know what the individual is responsible for. In romantic relationships the responsibilities of an individual is dependent on each couple. A healthy level of communication is key in knowing your role boo!
On the contrary, there are relationships that function well without titles but they tend to be casual. Even without a title, it is best practice to discuss what we expect, want and need from one another. With the obvious rationale being to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings and conflict.
How this post came about
I have had many debates with people, especially the fellas about titles and the necessity for them. One guy in particular requested that I identify the reasons I believe they are important.
Here’s what I told him:
There are things that I would do for my husband that I would not do for my fiancé, and for my fiancé I would not do for my boyfriend. Each stage in the relationship creates a different level of commitment, for me.
- I would allot time for him while continuing my routines. Surprise him with his favorite meals/dates/treats here and there. Go on a few “baecations” or trips.
- I would prefer not to live with a boyfriend. Nor bind myself in any legal agreements with him (not even a phone contract).
- I would consider moving in, and cosigning on that phone contract I mentioned earlier. My fiancé is free to expect certain things from me, like those treats. I would also begin choosing plans with him over friends in most cases.
- If the engagement has no end date because he has not agreed to one…I will not cosign on major purchases, like a home. Everything else is precarious at this level in the relationship.
- I’m all in at this stage. My husband comes before everyone else. I would expect that his family is an extension of mine and vice versa. All major and mid level decisions would involve him, the minor things are debatable.
What’s your take on this?